No Weenies Allowed
by kingdomkey0703
Summary: Sora tries to get into a dangerous club. Parody of No Weenies Allowed from Spongebob Squarepants. Please R&R!


_**No Weenies Allowed**_

Hey guys! This is another parody of Spongebob Squarepants' "No Weenies Allowed". Hope you guys enjoy it!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything!

-KH-SS-

The story starts at Destiny Islands. The camera then pans through every part of Destiny Islands. "Ahh, Destiny Islands," The French narrator said while the camera continues to show every part of Destiny Islands. "A luxurious oasis of sand and sea," The narrator continued until the camera shows Sora and Riku near a tall tent for letting people change their clothing. Riku had his arms crossed while Sora had a bag in his hands.

"Shoot, Sora," Riku said while looking at Sora's clothing. "How are we gonna go swimming when you're in a jacket and jumpsuit?"

Sora chuckled. "Ah, yes. How foolish of me," He snickers. "Allow me to remedy said situation right now. I will just use this changing tent here to change into my bathing suit," Sora then went inside the tent. He pokes his head with a grin. "And I won't do anything else," And then, he went inside again.

"Sora's acting jumpier than a rattlesnake in a pickle barrel," Riku said until he realizes something. "Wait… what?"

_Inside the tent_

Sora laughs while rubbing his hands together. "Oh, I'll be changing alright, but not into a bathing suit," Sora then grabs something inside his bag. "Wait until Riku sees that I brought me Keyblade! Hi-yah!" Sora brings out his Keyblade, Kingdom Key, out of the bag. "Hi-yah! Riku won't beat me this time, because I've got the elements on my side. The elements of surprise. Hi-yah!" He kicks the bag as Riku shouted:

"Sora, are you ready?"

"Yes, Riku, I most certainly am ready!" Sora said loudly. He then says, softly, "Ready to get it on," The brunette then jumps out of the tent and jumps toward Riku. "Hi-!"

"Hi-yah!" Riku said while attacking Sora with his Keyblade, Way to Dawn, while Sora now has Riku's Keyblade in his mouth. "Look, Sora, we both brought our Keyblades."

Sora then laughs with Riku's Keyblade in his mouth. "Great minds think alike, I suppose."

"Hi-yah!" Riku kicks Sora to the air. The brunette then crashes on the ground, followed by his jacket, socks and shoes. He stands up with his jacket, socks and shoes on his head.

"I may be down, but I'm not out!" Sora said until he looks down at his feet, which are in some potato salad at a family picnic. Sora glances at the man, which he figured that the man was the father.

The man glares at him. "Way to go, buddy. It took us three days to make that potato salad," He said as Sora jumps away. "THREE DAYS!" The man shouted while shaking his left fist. Back to Sora, the brunette then jumps into an empty area.

"Hi-yah!" Sora said until he noticed that no one was there. Sora looks around with his Keyblade on his side. "Riku? Where on Earth are you?"

"Oh, I'm on Earth, alright," Riku, who was under the sand, grabs Sora's right foot and emerges from the sand. "Or should I say under. Hi-yah!" He kicks Sora into the air again. Meanwhile at the air, Sora starts to make his thoughts right.

"Oh, I get it," Sora said with a small smile on his face. "He's under Earth. He's also covered in… yes!" He then mysteriously flies out of Destiny Islands then back into it. Meanwhile, Riku is talking to an ice cream vendor with his Keyblade out.

"On another world, they have a flavour called 'Sea-Salt Ice Cream'," Riku said not until he raises his finger. "Excuse me for a sec. Hi-yah!" Riku slaps Sora, who barely touched the ground, in the face with his Keyblade. He grabs the ice cream from the ice cream vendor. "Thank you."

The ice cream vendor shook his head. "No, no, thank _you_," He said as Riku nods.

"Hi-yah!" Riku said as he slaps Sora again, sending him into the air and flying into a strong man that is waiting in line.

The man growls. "Who threw that piece of paper at me?" He asked, making Sora stammer and whistle innocently. Riku then joins them.

"Hey, what's everybody waiting in line for?" Riku asked as the man smiles.

"Ahoy, fair lad, it be the line to get into the Salty Spitoon," The man said while pointing over to an old building. "The roughest, toughest sailor club ever to built in Destiny Islands. Only the baddest of the bad can get in. You need to have muscles," The man then flexes his arms. "You need to have muscles _on _your muscles," He flexes even more, creating more muscles on is previous ones. "You need to have muscles _on _your _eyeballs_!" He then flexes his eyes, creating muscles, making Sora gag.

"Ew," Sora said not until a man inside the Salty Spitoon screams while flying out of the club.

Sora gulps as Riku elbows him on the stomach. "Looks like a rip-snorting good time, eh, Sora?"

"Yeah, let's go in," Sora replied, gaining a little confidence. They walked towards the entrance until the man before confronts the guard.

"Welcome to the Salty Spitoon. How tough are ya?" The guard asked the man.

"How tough am I? _How tough am I? ! _I had bowls of nails for breakfast this morning!" The man said while the guard crosses his arms, chuckling.

"Yeah, so?" The guard said as the man leans close to his face while glaring at him.

"Without any milk," The man said.

The guard then opens the door. "Uhh, right this way, sorry to keep you waiting," The guard said while the man walks in the club. Riku then walks up to the guard with a smirk on his face. "Welcome to the Salty Spitoon. How tough are ya?" The guard said, narrowing his eyes at Riku.

"How tough am I?" Riku repeated not until he rips off one of the guard's tattoos that says 'mom' and puts it upside down back to where it was before while the guard scream at pain.

Sora leans forward to read what the tattoo said. "Wow," He read while pointing at the tattoo.

Riku smirks again as Sora stands upright. "Got any more tattoos?" Riku said as the guard got nervous.

"Uhh, that won't necessary, kid. Go ahead," The guard said while Riku wore a successful grin on his face. The silverette then walk towards the door but then he stops and glances at Sora, who was the only guy left.

"See you inside, Sora!" Riku said as he went inside while the guard glances at Sora.

The guard crosses his arms. "How tough are ya, kid?"

"How tough am I? You got a new bottle of ketchup?" Sora said while the guard brings out a new bottle of ketchup.

"Sure," The guard said as he hands Sora the bottle of ketchup.

"It's on!" Sora said as he grabs the bottle of ketchup and starts stain it open but can't. Sora takes a few deep breathes and continues to strain the bottle only to fail for the second the time. The brunette then glances at the guard and hands the bottled ketchup to the guard, who looked confused. "If I could just run this under some hot water."

"Get outta here. This place is too tough for you, little kid," The guard said while Sora glares at him, dropping the bottle of ketchup.

The brunette crosses his arms. "Too tough for me? That's downright ridiculous! I'll have you know I stubbed my toe last week while watering my spice garden and I only cried for twenty minutes."

"Listen, kid. I think you'd be more comfortable over at that place," The guard said while pointing to a building across the street as Sora glances at the building.

Sora drops his jaws. "Weenie Hut Jr's?" He said in disbelief. The brunette then glares at the guard again. "Are you saying I belong to Weenie Hut Jr's?"

"Oh no, sorry, I was actually pointing at the place next to it," The guard said as he points to another building, making Sora glance at it.

"Super Weenie Hut Jr's?" The brunette said in disbelief again.

The guard crosses his arms. "Yeah. Unless you think you're tough enough to fight me," He said. Sora was about to say something but then closes and quietly went to…

_Narrator: Later_

Sora is now sitting at Weenie Hut Jr's, drinking a can of soda. Next to him are two nerds, talking to each other while eating hotdogs. "How's your collection coming along?" Nerd #1 asked to Nerd #2 while Sora raised an eyebrow.

"Well, I don't mean to brag but it's pretty sweet. I'm in the process of acquiring issue 347 which will give me my fourth complete set," Nerd #2 said as Nerd #1 gasps.

"No…" Nerd 1# echoed.

Sora rolls his eyes. "What weenies. Oh brother," He muttered as a hotdog-like robot walks to Sora, who glanced at it, confusedly.

"Would you care for another diet cola with a lemon twist, weenie?" The robot asked while Sora glares at it after calling him a weenie.

"What? But I'm not a weenie!" The brunette protested not until the robot scans him with one of its scanners, making Sora jump a little.

"I'm sorry, sir, but my sensors indicate that you are indeed a weenie," The robot said as a computer beeps and shows a picture of a hot dog weenie.

Sora drops the can of soda. "That's impossible!" He shouted as he runs out of Weenie Hut Jr's.

"You can't hide what's inside," The robot stated but Sora already left.

_Narrator: Later_

Sora runs over to the guard, who glanced at him. "I demand entrance into your club on the grounds that I am NOT a weenie!" Sora said not until a strong, muscular man walks up to them.

"Hey, Reg, how's it going?" The man said as Sora jumps onto Reg's arms, yelping.

Reg then glances at Sora. "You were sayin'?" He said to Sora, insulting him. Reg then glances at the man. "Go ahead buddy."

"Thanks Reg," The man thanked as he went inside the Salty Spitoon.

Sora glances at Reg with a grin. "So, your name's Reg?" He said as if teasing Reg.

"Would you get outta here? !" Reg said while throwing Sora away from his arms. Sora stood up, dusted himself and glared at Reg.

"Mark my words, Reg. I _will _get into the Salty Spitoon! I will!" The brunette said as he runs off again.

_Narrator: Later_

Sora is now back inside at Weenie Hut Jr's with another can of soda. The two nerds from before now noticed Sora, making Nerd #1 say, "Couldn't get in, huh? What you need is a tough hairdo. No one gets into the Double S without a tough hairdo."

Nerd #2 shook his head. "I disagree, I saw a guy going in there and he was bald."

"I saw that guy. He wasn't bald. He had a shaved head. Shaved! That's a hairdo. Case closed," Nerd #1 said until they noticed Sora gone. "Hey, where'd he go?"

The robot then wheels in. "I believe he said something about going to the wig store."

"Ha-ha! Check and mate," Nerd #2 said as Nerd #1 glares at him.

_Narrator: Later_

'Sora' walks over to Reg with a cool black 'wig' on. "What's shakin', my man?" He said while Reg stares at him, suspiciously.

"Not much. Say, haven't I seen you before?" Reg said, crossing his arms while 'Sora' cleans his nails.

'Sora' then raises an eyebrow. "Doubt it. I'm a drifter. Just blew into town. Heard your club was pretty tough, thought I'd check it out."

"Nice try, kid. I know it's you," Reg said as 'Sora' glares at him.

"What're you talking about?" 'Sora' said not until Reg pulls his hair.

"AHA!" Reg said until he noticed the hair was still attached to 'Sora', revealing it to be a real hair. 'Sora' glared at Reg as another Sora walks in with a clown wig on.

Sora grinned. "Hey, everybody, what's goin' on?"

Reg smiled sheepishly at 'Sora' as he tried to redo his hair but can't. "Uh… You can go in. Sorry about that…" Reg said while 'Sora' walks inside the club, still glaring at him Reg then turned to Sora, "What do you want?"

"I'd like to gain entrance to your social club, please. I believe my hairdo is in order," Sora said while fixing his wig not until Reg takes the wig off. Sora laughs nervously, "So, uhh, where do you stand on the whole bald vs. shaved debate?" He said with a nervous grin while Reg continued to glare at him.

Then, a big guy with a tattoo of a seahorse on his right arm walks in, "Hey-ya, Reg!"

Reg's frown disappears and turns into a smile. "Alright, now it's a party! Oh yeah, check out the new ink!"

"Thanks! Hey, look what I can make it do," The big guy said as he moves his arm, making the seahorse tattoo wiggle.

Reg chuckles, "Yeah," He noticed something, "Hey, what about that one?" Reg pointed to another tattoo as the big guy looks at his left arm only to see a Sora tattoo.

"Huh, you know, I don't remember getting this one," The big guy said.

"Can you make it dance?"

"Well, here, let me try," The big guy then moves his arm but Sora remained motionless. The big guy stopped just as Sora began to dance.

Reg glared at Sora, "Hmmm… wait a minute," He rips Sora off the big guy's arm, "Go ahead in," The big guy walks in the club while rubbing his arm.

"Yeah, sure, Reg. Thanks," He said.

Reg then glares at Sora again, "Nice try, little kid," He said and throws Sora to the back of the line behind two strong guys.

"Hey, I was in front of you!" Tough guy #1 said.

"No, you weren't!" Tough Guy #2 said.

"You callin' me a liar?!"

"I ain't callin' you for dinner!" The two tough guys start to fight beside Sora. The boy tried to run away but the fight goes down a hill, with him in it. The fight continued with Sora screaming until Reg walks over.

"Hold it, you two!" He said as the two tough guys stopped. "That's enough, you're both plenty tough, go ahead in."

"Alright!" Tough Guy #1 said.

"Thanks Reg!" Tough Guy #2 said as they both run off while Sora, who was under the sand the whole time, comes out of it.

The boy stood up and glared at Reg, "Hey, what about me? I was in that scrap!"

Reg chortles, "I saw you runnin'. When you get in a real fight, then we'll talk."

"Well then, I guess it's time to kick it up a notch," Sora said as he starts to stretch his body. He then cracks his finger only to snap them in half. Sora tried not to cry but failed. He runs off, crying.

_Narrator: One Curaga Spell later_

Sora is once again back inside Weenie Hut Jr's with his fingers in a bowl of ice cream. The boy sobbed as the robot wheels in, "Care for another sundae, weenie?" It said.

Sora glared at the robot, "I am NOT a weenie!"

"Relax, you're among friends," Nerd #1 said while raising his drink.

"My friends don't hang out at Weenie Hut Jr's," Sora said, glaring at the nerd.

"You tell 'em, Sora!"

Sora glances at his right and saw Tidus, sipping on a soda, "Tidus, what're you doing here?" Sora said.

"I'm always here on Double Weenie Wednesdays," Tidus said with a grin as he sips on his soda again.

"Actually, they moved Double Weenie Wednesday to Friday," Nerd #1 pointed out.

"And besides, today's Monday," Nerd #2 added.

"Oh, so it's Mega Weenie Monady?" Tidus asked.

"Uhh, that's now on Sunday," Nerd #1 said.

"Drat!"

"Super Weenie Hut Jr's has a Mega Weenie Monday," Nerd #2 said.

"Uhh, no, you're thinking of Monster Weenie Monday," Nerd #1 said.

SNAP! "I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!" Sora screamed while Tidus and the nerds glanced at him. "I've got to go pick a fight with a muscular stranger!" Sora stood up and head towards the exit, "It's the only way of getting into the Salty Spittoon!"

Tidus grabbed Sora before he could leave, "No, Sora, you can't. It's too dangerous."

"I've got no choice!" Sora argued.

The robot wheels in again, "I have a suggestion. Why not fake a fight?" It said.

"Hey, that's not a bad idea!" Tidus said, "You can call me a couple of bad names, we rumble, next thing you know, you're in the Salty Spitton!"

Sora shrugged, "Well, I guess I've got nothing to lose. Let's do it!"

"Yeah!" Tidus said as they both run out.

"Hey, how come you never help us out with our problems?" Nerd #1 asked to the robot.

"I am a robot, not a miracle worker," It said.

_Narrator: Much later_

Sora walks up to Reg with a grin, "Afternoon, Reg!"

Reg stops him, "Whoa, whoa, little kid. You still can't go in."

"Well, that makes me pretty mad!" Sora said.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah! I might have to beat someone up just to get rid of all this blind fury."

"_Wow_…"

"Yeah, I feel pretty sorry for the next guy who looks at me funny."

"Hmmm… What about that guy?" Reg points to a strong guy behind the boy.

Sora turned and saw the strong guy. He yelped and stammered, " I, uhh…" He laughs nervously, "… Don't be silly. He's not botherin' anybody. I mean, not like… that guy!" He points at Tidus.

"Who, me?" Tidus said while Sora approaches him.

"Yeah, you! Standing there all smiling and whatnot. Somebody oughta teach you some manners!" Sora said.

"Okay, but I must warn you. I happen to be a world championship… uhh…" Tidus looks at his hand, which had the word 'kick boxer' written on it, "… kick boxer…" Tidus winks and gives a thumbs up to Sora.

"I don't care if you're the demon seed of Kingdom Hearts! You're goin' down, tubby!"

Tidus starts to tear after hearing 'tubby', "Tubby…?" He fumes up, "Nobody calls me tubby!" He punches Sora on the eye, leaving him a black eye.

"Wait, Tidus, you're supposed to let ME win, remember?" Sora whispered while holding out his hands.

"Oh yeah…" Tidus said not until several invisible punches began to hit him, "No, please wait," He grunts as more invisible punches hit him. Tidus was being thrown into the air and on the ground then given a wedgie, "No, please have mercy!" Tidus was kicked into the background.

Sora stood up, still watching Tidus being beaten up as Reg walks in, "Wow! You destroyed that guy without even touchin' him," He said.

"I did?" Sora said.

"I never thought I'd say this, but go ahead in," Reg said while pointing at the Salty Spittoon.

"Really? I can go in? Oh, my gosh, I never thought this moment would come! I, Sora, am tough enough to get into the Salty Spittoon! This is the happiest day of my life!" He walks in the club with a grin.

. . . . . . .

An ambulance was driving down the street with Sora in bandages and Riku and Kairi by his side. Sora groaned, "Kairi? Riku? What happened?"

"Riku told me you ran inside the Salty Spittoon and slipped on an ice cube," Kairi said. The ambulance arrives at the hospital. Kairi and Riku wheels Sora in the emergency room.

"What happened?" The doctor said.

"I slipped on an ice cube and got covered in boo-boos," Sora said.

"Boo-boos, eh? Hmmm… I think you guys want that hospital," The doctor points across the street to another hospital.

Sora, Riku and Kairi glanced at where the doctor was pointing. "Weenie Hut General?!" Sora said in disbelief.

-KH-SS-

That's it! Hope you guys enjoyed it!

Please R&R!


End file.
